Secretly a Child at Heart
by Commander Fiction
Summary: 5xs Jim was Careless & 5xs Jim Cared too Much. Jim and Bones pairing. Spock and Uhura in later chapters. Plenty of whump and humor. Updated every Friday. Rated T for violence and swearing. Takes place through the Academy and to the Five Year Mission.
1. Migraine

A _Star Trek_ Fiction

 _"The ultimate duo, the mighty Bones and Jim. With Bones' skills, and Jim's unpredictability, the two are unstoppable, for better or worse."_

Secretly a Child at Heart 

_5xs Jim was Careless & 5xs Jim Cared too Much_

 **Story 1: Migraine**

Jim slumps his head down into the crook of his arm, blocking out the offensive lighting from up above. His brain pounds and the professor's words now blur together into one giant buzz along with the whispers and the hum of the lights. Damn those lights, they're making his headache worse.

The blond shifts, feeling someone poke his shoulder repeatedly, "Damn it Jim, wake up," Bones whispers harshly.

Jim moans, "Not now Bones…"

"I told ya you need to start paying attention in class." Bones growls, starting to pinch his arm now.

"Quit it Bones, and I have straight As why does it matter?" He replies hazily, his mind clouded with the building up pressure along his skull.

"Because I said so." Bones responds, giving a stressed sigh as he leans back in his chair.

"Fine." Jim mutters and lifts his head, trying to squint through the blinding light.

Bones stares at him curiously, "Something wrong Jim?"

"Just a hangover." Jim lies, not looking at the Doctor to see the disgusted eye roll.

Jim barely manages the next hour as class wraps up and the students pack up their things and file out the door. The whole time Jim only replied to Bones with grunts and moans, keeping his head low to avoid the harsh lights. The two said their goodbyes and they parted, Jim going back home and Bones heading off to his last class.

The trek back is slow and painful, but the blond finally to makes it back. He stumbles up the stairs and barges into his dorm room tiredly, covering his eyes with a hand.

"Lights off." He snaps and the room complies, turning completely dark, "Finally." Jim sighs, dropping his bag by the door and heading into his own room.

He opens the door and immediately starts to strip, peeling off his red hot uniform and throwing on a new pair of underwear and a gray shirt. The exhausted cadet then climbs into bed, throwing his thick blanket over himself.

Jim sinks into the sheets and brings his hands up to cradle his throbbing head. Usually these damn headaches fade, but he has feeling it isn't a headache but a migraine. But if it's a migraine than it's more serious, and Jim doesn't want that, so he leaves it at 'bad headache'.

The blond moans and shifts tighter around himself, still clutching his pounding brain, his eyes beginning to burn.

It's a couple of hours later until Bones returns, almost tripping over Jim's school bag in the dark. The Doctor curses to himself and throws the bags off to the side.

"Lights at seventy." Bones grunts, taking off his jacket and draping it over the couch.

"Damn it Bones…lights off." Jim moans, his door wide open.

Bones looks his way but the room falls dark again, "Lights at twenty."

Jim just groans as the lights turn on again, but this time they're dim and aren't as hurtful. The blond curls in, kneading at his aching skull. Bones approaches him, giving a hummpf.

"Just a hangover huh?" Bones questions suspiciously, crossing his arms.

"Yeah…somethin' terrible." Jim mumbles, his voice gruff and slightly agitated.

"Really? Lights ninety." Bones orders and the lights brighten, causing the shriveled blond to yelp in pain, "Lights ten." Jim gasps desperately, bringing the blanket over his face.

"Damn it Jim." Bones grumbles and pulls out several hypos before coming beside him.

"Just a headache." Jim protests, but Bones isn't buying it.

The brunette yanks away the blankets and examines Jim closely, "Lights thirty."

"I'm fine…really Bones." Jim insists, squinting against the brightness.

Bones just makes a grunt which is more close to a growl, "Really, you said this was just a headache. I don't know about that one."

"My head just hurts really bad okay?" Jim says softly, wincing as Bones applies pressure to the side of his head.

"Seems like a migraine to me Jim." Bones grumbles half to himself, Jim would've rolled his eyes, but that'd just earn him a glare.

"Okay…hopefully you're not allergic to this. If you feel nauseous, dizzy, or your skin starts to swell, lemme know." Bones says in all seriousness and readies the hypo, "Wait what?" Jim exclaims, but it's too late, Bones presses the hypo into his neck and pushes the substance into his bloodstream.

Jim squeals slightly and Bones shakes his head, chuckling softly, "Next time you get a migraine, tell me. You need to take better care of yourself."

Jim simply offers a lopsided grin because it's the only thing he's got.


	2. Defeat

A _Star Trek_ Fiction

 _"The ultimate duo, the mighty Bones and Jim. With Bones' skills, and Jim's unpredictability, the two are unstoppable, for better or worse."_

Secretly a Child at Heart 

_5xs Jim was Careless & 5xs Jim Cared too Much_

 **Story 2: Defeat**

Jim was never one to be open about how he truly feels, and this is no exception to that. He's walking back to his dorm after a second failed Kobayashi Maru. His heart is heavy and his limbs feel like they can't carry him much further. The blond had a feeling this second attempt was going to end badly, but he didn't expect it to end worse than the first trial. No, this time he got scolded not only by his superior officers, but by his fellow cadets.

The blond was called things that he'd rather not repeat, and even though he claims that comments like those don't bother him, it truly does, every single word affects him and he can't stop it from nagging at him for the rest of the day. So the blond cadet simply walks away, feeling like the sky is weighing down upon his shoulders.

Exhausted, Jim climbs the stairs to the third level and drags his feet to the door. He unlocks it without looking and he stumbles inside, his vision starting to blur with tears. No, he can't cry here, not now. He blinks fiercely and shuts the door with a loud slam.

The room is oddly still, indicating that Bones isn't home yet. Jim sighs, he's not ready for Bones, not yet, maybe not ever, he doesn't want his friend to see him this way. The blond makes his way to his room, dropping his belongings on the floor and jumping into bed, squeezing his eyes shut.

He rolls over onto his side, back facing the open doorway while his eyes gaze out the window, up at the clear skies.

Jim feels the silence wash over him and at the end of the day, he is, truly alone. The blond grabs his pillow and buries his face into it, releasing the held back sobs. At first, it was merely a few sniffles and silent tears, but it starts to take his toll on him. After ten minutes, his crying turns into full out sobbing, his body wracking with tremors.

Suddenly the door swings open, and the familiar footsteps of his roommate are heard. He becomes abnormally still, hoping that Bones will just go into his own room, but unfortunately for the blond, he left his door wide open.

"Jim are you okay?" Bones questions stepping inside the room, seeing Jim tense up in his fetal position.

"Go away." Jim growls defensively, cringing at the harshness of his own voice.

"You didn't answer my question." The Doctor points out, folding his arms across his chest.

Jim doesn't look Bones' way, if he does he'll start to cry again, "I'm fine, now leave."

"Jim don't lie to me. You're acting like a pathetic loser right now." Bones grumbles and he watches as Jim grips his pillow tighter and makes no attempt to reply.

Bones sighs and comes closer, walking around the end of the bed and snatching the pillow away from the blond's desperate grasp. Jim instantly turns the other way, not wanting to look into Bones' eyes.

Jim keeps his eyes closed and he feels the bed dip down as the Doctor sits beside him, "Is this about the test?"

The blond doesn't respond, he's on the verge of crying, "Jim c'mon, you gotta talk to me."

Jim's heart beats faster and faster, his eyes filling with unshed tears. He slowly sits up, keeping his gaze downcast, but despite actually looking at Bones he can still feel the Doctor's stare looking into his blue eyes. The blond wraps his arms around his legs and places his head on top of his knees, choked up sobs working its way out of his rebellious body.

"Shh, it's alright Jim, it's alright." Bones reassures, pulling the blond into his lap.

Jim instinctively clings onto Bones, grabbing fistfuls of Starfleet regulation red uniform. He buries his face into Bones' shoulder and lets out the uncontrollable sobs, tears streaming down his face.

Bones doesn't freeze up at all, he just lets it happen. The Doctor only adjusts himself slightly to get more comfortable on the bed, keeping the blond right on his lap where he should be. The brunette looks down, gazing upon the head full of golden hair, wondering how on earth the test could mess the kid up this bad.

But despite his raging feeling to question the blond, he doesn't because that's not what Jim needs right now. Right now, Jim needs him to be the nonjudgmental friend who will simply hold him until he cries all of his worries away.

With a sigh, Bones places a hand on his fellow cadet's back and one in his soft hair, stroking the golden hair beneath his fingertips. Jim's sobbing slowly turns into sniffling, calming at the touch of Bones' gentle hands.

Bones looks at Jim, knowing that he might not be alright today, but someday, he'll get through this, and the blond will be alright then.


	3. Storm

A _Star Trek_ Fiction

 _"The ultimate duo, the mighty Bones and Jim. With Bones' skills, and Jim's unpredictability, the two are unstoppable, for better or worse."_

Secretly a Child at Heart 

_5xs Jim was Careless & 5xs Jim Cared too Much_

 **Story 3: Storm**

The blond's clothes get tattered with rain, the cold water seeping into the fabric and chilling his bones. He doesn't mind it though, he's actually enjoying it. Jim gazes up, taking in the wonders up above him. Swirls of dark clouds are gathering overhead, forming a massive storm flashing with dangerous lightening.

He just smiles as the first strike hits and the thunder roars with a loud a clap. His grin widens with each passing lightening strike. Jim loves watching the night sky light up with the bright flashes of light, only to fade back into darkness.

But the rains get colder and eventually he's sitting there shivering with his lips turning blue and his teeth chattering. It's two in the morning and Bones still hasn't retrieved him to go back to the dorm. He knows he's being stupid and idiotic but he can't help but wonder, if maybe, just maybe, he'll ever end up there beside the stars, gleaming alongside them in their brilliance.

Jim adjusts himself on the campus bench, keeping his gaze upwards at the sky as the storm thickens up above. By now his issued regulation red uniform is drenched and his body temperature has dropped dramatically. The blond is losing feeling in his limbs and face, and the shivers are turning into tremors.

When he sneezes loudly, causing his head to jolt, he realizes how apathetic he is being currently. Because here he is, underneath the full weight of the storm, raining soaking every inch of his body and lightening threatening to strike down onto his head and he still hasn't moved.

With another sneeze, Jim gathers to his feet, sliding a numb hand through his ragged blond hair. Jim slowly treks through the dark night, stumbling over his cold feet every couple of steps. He eventually makes it to his dorm and he travels up the stairs and to his room. The blond reaches for the doorknob only to find the door locked.

He rolls his eyes and fumbles around until he can get his frozen fingers to cooperate and punch in the correct code to the door. Jim stumbles inside and throws off his clothes, too drained to even take a hot shower. The blond gathers his wet clothes and wads them into a ball, tossing them off to the side by his desk. He slips on a clean pair of boxers and crashes into bed with a comforted sigh.

Closing his eyes, he brings the blanket up to his chin, his body trembling terribly. Jim falls asleep gradually, only a sneeze every now and again keeping his bloodshot eyes from closing.

Bones wakes up to a loud sneeze that seems to shake the dorm walls more than the raging storm outside. Usually this is the time to yell 'shut the hell up Jim' and roll over, but the sneeze is followed by more sneezing and coughing between fits. The Doctor rolls his eyes, what has the kid done this time?

With a groan he swings his legs onto the ground, ignoring his alarm which is about to go off in an hour. The brunette grumbles the whole way there, rubbing his exhausted brown eyes until he can actually see clearly. He pushes Jim's door open and stands in the doorway momentarily, taking in the ridicules scene.

Jim is sitting upright, clutching his blanket tightly at his lap. His whole body tenses up and he releases another shocking sneeze and once his body eases, his body shivers and he's hit with a fit of coughs. Bones rolls his eyes and comes to the blond's side, placing a hand on the shivering man's forehead.

"You're frozen kid." Bones exclaims, feeling the rest of Jim's face to confirm his thought.

The Doctor then puts his hand in the blond's matted hair, its damp still and smells like rainwater. His gaze instantly narrows and judgment immediately ensues.

"Damn it Jim, what were you doing outside?" He demands, fetching a med kit (which he now keeps one in Jim's room, for multiple reasons) and sits down beside the kid.

Jim lets out a sneeze and sniffles up some mucus, "It was too beautiful to pass by."

"What exactly about the storm was too pretty to 'pass by'?" Bones questions, pressing a much needed hypo into the reckless blond's neck.

Jim just cringes but answers the question nonetheless, "It isn't just the storm Bones, it's what's above the storm."


	4. Tarsus

A _Star Trek_ Fiction

 _"The ultimate duo, the mighty Bones and Jim. With Bones' skills, and Jim's unpredictability, the two are unstoppable, for better or worse."_

Secretly a Child at Heart 

_5xs Jim was Careless & 5xs Jim Cared too Much_

 **Story 4: Tarsus**

He clutches the toilet desperately, hoping no one will walk in to see his embarrassing scene. The blond's a wreck, cold sweats are running down his face and his stomach has pushed out every meal he's had today and he's pretty sure if he throws up one more time, his actual stomach might come out.

Today was awful, his history professor decided it was appropriate to go over Tarsus IV for their lesson, let's just say, it didn't end too well for Jim. And now, here he is, clinging onto the rim of the toilet in his dorm room, praying to god Bones looks for him at the bar before heading here, but he's not in luck because the Doctor has a knack for finding him when he doesn't want to be found.

"Jim? Are you home?" Comes the brunette's soothing, yet gruff southern voice.

Jim opens his mouth to reply, but another wave of nausea passes over him and he throws up again, only stomach acid pouring from his chapped lips.

"Jim?" Bones calls out with more concern.

"No Bones…" He groans, taking side glance at the closed bathroom door to make sure it's locked, it is.

"Open up Jim." Bones demands, standing outside the locked door.

"No." He growls and lets out haggard sigh as his stomach twists into a knot with fear wrenching in his heart.

"What's wrong?" The Doctor asks, leaning against the door, only hoping that Jim will have the sense to open it.

"…m' fine." He mumbles before dry heaving at the toilet's edge.

Bones scoffs, "Yeah, you sound amazing, now open up kid. Don't make me break down the door."

Jim freezes up, he's a hundred percent sure that Bones will break down the door, it wouldn't be the first time and he's sure it won't be the last. But this time, he's doesn't need a scene, if he wants Bones to believe he's fine, he's gotta play it cool.

The blond gathers to his feet, flushing the toilet and washing his face. He unlocks the door and Bones opens it before he even has the opportunity to grasp the handle.

"Damn it Jim, why do you do this to yourself?" Bones mutters, gripping him by the shoulders.

Jim nods drowsily at him and gives a weak smile, which Bones isn't buying into. He opens his mouth to speak, but he only coughs, which only turns into a choking sound as more bile rises up his throat. Instantly Bones gathers the sweaty mess into his arms and pulls him over the toilet so his stomach contents don't ruin the floor.

Bones can only watch as the clear liquid leaves Jim's mouth, obviously the kid has thrown up everything else in his stomach, which isn't a good sign.

Jim's trembling in Bones' strong arms, so weak, so fragile. Bones gathers him up, pushing away his uncooperative hands and scooping him up like a small child. The blond gives some inaudible complaints, but stops fighting Bones' helping hands. He places Jim on his own bed, since he knows Jim finds sleep easier in the Doctor's bed and not in his own. Must be something mental, must be.

Jim mutters something underneath his breath, but Bones doesn't catch it, the Doctor is too busy collecting medical supplies to notice. Bones returns to the blond's side seconds later and pushes several different hypos into his neck. Jim just sighs as the nausea eases and the tremors fade into manageable shivers.

Bones huffs, staring down at his drowsy friend, wondering what has gotten him so worked up. The Doctor picks up a thin blanket and throws it over Jim's body, wiping away some of Jim's sweat with a discarded towel.

"Bones?" Jim asks, his voice coming in stronger now that his breathing has settled.

Bones smiles and sits beside his best friend, "Yeah Jim?"

"Thanks." Jim replies, grasping his hand and giving a squeeze.

"No problem kid, just don't freak me out like that again." Bones informs him, and Jim gives his trademark grin and slowly falls into a peaceful slumber, which was induced by the sedative Bones injected his careless friend with. Because whatever has shaken up his golden boy this bad, well it isn't going to let him sleep, not without a fight, so Bones will just have to fight harder.

So with all the care in the world in Bones' heart, he wraps an arm around his blond friend, his mind still buzzing with unanswered questions. The only reason why Bones was able to find Jim in the first place was Uhura. The lovely cadet informed him that his dirtbag of a friend "Jim" had literally sprinted out of history class looking green. When Bones asked her what had caused him to look so sick she told him that they were going over a touchy subject. Bones asked her which one, she gave a simple answer: Tarsus IV.


	5. Broken

A _Star Trek_ Fiction

 _"The ultimate duo, the mighty Bones and Jim. With Bones' skills, and Jim's unpredictability, the two are unstoppable, for better or worse."_

Secretly a Child at Heart 

_5xs Jim was Careless & 5xs Jim Cared too Much_

 **Story 5: Broken**

Jim Kirk is no stranger to bullies; the man tends to attract them more often than he does girls it seems. Bones finds his blond friend tangled up in more brawls than sex and that's saying something, because Jim has a knack for the ladies, but apparently he's a stronger magnet for fists to the face.

But despite the constant bickering and the bar fights he gets into, the kid remains unphased, most of the time Bones can't even tell the kid has a broken rib until he catches the blond shirtless. And this time is no exception to Jim's deceptive disguise.

The blond is walking home after a run in with another bully, well, he doesn't like the word bully, because it means that person is superior to him and that would make him weak and Jim Kirk isn't weak, he's just unlucky.

Jim sighs; he doesn't know how he's going to hide this one. His face has already swollen up with large dark rings and his ribs are inflamed, either bruised or cracked, but his leg is a different matter. The side of his right thigh received a massive blow with a metal bat and he might have fractured something, but he's not sure.

He's just strolling along, well, limping along, minding his own business when a feminine voice calls out to him. Jim instantly straightens his posture and works up a smile before glancing behind his shoulder to see the source, its Uhura and she has a scowl on her face that shakes his core deeper than Bones'.

"Uhura, uhh can I help you?" He asks, offering a genuine smile, but it's strained on his bruised lips.

"Yeah, what the hell happened to you?" She demands, looking him up and down, taking in every cut, bruise, welt, or broken thing.

Jim shrugs carelessly, "Just a fight, nothing much."

"Just a fight huh? Seems to me you got your ass handed to you." Uhura comments, walking up beside him.

Jim rolls his eyes and begins to limp away, Uhura alongside him, "Look, I didn't say how many guys were against me here." He defends himself, wincing each time his right leg presses against the hard surface of the paved sidewalk.

Uhura gazes at his contorted face and she knows she's going to regret this later, "Here lemme help."

Jim instantly shies away from her help, "No-no, I'm fine."

"Oh stop being childish, this is my one time offer, now let me help you back to your dorm Kirk." Uhura informs him and snatches his left arm which he immediately cringes as she slings it around her own shoulders.

Jim pauses slightly, trying to compose himself against the raging pain inside of him, "Alright, fine, but you're not staying."

"Wasn't planning on it." Uhura replies and guides Jim back, keeping a steady pace for him.

When they reach the actual building, Uhura begins to worry, she doesn't think Kirk can even make it up the stairs even with her help. But nonetheless, they try. Uhura takes him to the first step and helps him up, but Kirk's whole body fights the movement and he holds down a girlish scream. There's too much pressure on his leg.

Uhura lets a sigh whistle through her perfectly straight teeth, "Alright, lemme fetch Leonard, you stay here."

"Wait no! Keep Bones out of this." Kirk pleads almost desperately, but Uhura shakes her head.

"No Kirk, I'm getting Leo, you're too heavy to get up the stairs, I need more help." Uhura tells him and climbs the stairs to his dorm.

Jim just sits there grumpily, awaiting her return. Up above he can hear Bones' complaints and insults as Uhura leads him down the stairs to where he sits.

"Seriously Jim?" Bones growls, not wanting to say anything too offensive in front of the pretty cadet.

"Sorry Bones." Jim offers a little smile, light reflecting off of his baby blue eyes.

"Let's just get you upstairs." Bones mutters and hauls him up with the help of Uhura.

With the two of them, they manage to get him to the third floor and seated on the couch. Bones sighs and thanks Uhura quickly as she leaves without any goodbyes and turns back over to his stupid blond friend.

"Damn it Jim, at this rate I'm gonna have gray hairs before I graduate." Bones snaps at him as he drags a med kit out.

"I thought you already have gray hairs." Jim replies quite honestly, which only earns him another glare.

"Alright just hold still and pray to god that nothing's broken, because if there is, you're going down to the medical facility." Bones tells him and stares at Jim's clothes, "Clothes, off."

Jim groans and begins painfully to pull his shirt off with the help of Bones, "Wait, can you help me get my pants off?"

Bones raises an eye brow at him, "Why?"

"My leg." He grunts, cringing with each movement.

"Alright fine, better not be broken." Bones warns and starts to yank down Jim's pants, revealing a large black and blue welt on his right thigh.

Bones mouth hangs open, "If that's broken…"

"It's not…I think." Jim replies with a wince as Bones peers at it.

Bones gives him a scowl, but as long as it's not broken, he'll be okay.


	6. Stay

A _Star Trek_ Fiction

 _"The ultimate duo, the mighty Bones and Jim. With Bones' skills, and Jim's unpredictability, the two are unstoppable, for better or worse."_

Secretly a Child at Heart 

_5xs Jim was Careless & 5xs Jim Cared too Much_

 **Story 6: Stay**

Bones closes his eyes, it's been a long night of studying for him and all he wants now is nice night of sleep. His weary brown eyes shut and his body grows comfortable despite the hard mattress beneath him. The Doctor is on the verge of falling asleep when Jim releases a scream from his room. But surprisingly it doesn't jolt the Doctor to his feet, no, he's heard Jim scream countless times before and the kid has always told him to leave.

Even though Bones wants sleep more than anything else in the world right now, he can't help but listen in to Jim's room, picturing the kid's movements to see if he'll fall back asleep.

Jim takes a glance at his door, hoping that the Doctor will swoop in to confront him and this time he'll tell him to stay, he's tired of pushing his friend away, he wants him, he needs him. The blond waits, but Bones doesn't make his entrance with his usual concern, Bones' door doesn't even move, apparently the Doctor has slept through his night terror.

The blond relaxes back down, blocking the vivid images of his step father from his mind. He knows that he should have moved passed this by now, but he can't stop himself from wondering if maybe he could have done something, that he could have changed his world, if only. Jim rolls over, gripping the blanket tightly and squeezing his eyes shut.

The cadet falls back into a slumber, only to be awakened by a similar dream but this time he releases a cry instead. He didn't mean to, he didn't want to sound weak and pathetic but that's how it came out. Jim hangs his head, sniffling as he tries to stop his hands from shaking.

This time, Bones isn't passing the opportunity, he has to ask now. Jim literally sounded like he was crying, that was no normal scream. The Doctor gathers to his feet, expecting the usual response. He opens Jim's door, revealing the younger man, huddled up in a tangle of blankets.

"Jim-" Bone starts, about to ask his normal question to get his normal response from the kid.

But Jim stops him, his voice trembles when he says it, "Stay." Jim tells him, looking up with teary blue eyes.

Bones takes a step closer, a shaky breath escaping him. Jim seems younger, a lot younger, like he's a ten year old boy again, facing the dangers of life by himself. Too young for this life, too adolescent.

"Jim I-" Bones is about to start again, but once again, Jim stops him before he can finish anything.

"Please Bones, just this one time, stay?" Jim pleads, his eyes youthful and sparking.

Bones swallows and comes closer, sitting on the edge of the bed, "Come here kid." Bones whispers, ushering him to his lap.

Jim takes it greedily, climbing into Bones' warm embrace, welcoming the arms that wrap around his frame. He sighs, sinking into Bones' lap, listening to his steady heartbeat in his chest.

"Jim tell me something…" Bones asks, peering down at him, "…what were you dreaming about?"

Jim gazes up at him and Bones meets his stare, the world unfolding in those bright blue eyes, "It was about my step father."

Bones stiffens slightly, this is the first time Jim has ever spoken freely about his past without having a couple of drinks, "What happened?"

"If I tell you will you stay?" Jim questions, gripping Bones' black t-shirt.

"Jim I'll stay no matter what." Bones replies, offering the troubled kid a smile.

Jim meets the smile with one of his own, "Even if you don't like what you hear?"

"I'm not going anywhere, I'm all ears." Bones reassures him, shifting to get more comfortable.

Jim sighs, knowing that Bones will stay with him, and he'll probably stay with him for the rest of his life, because if Bones can stay through this, then he'll stay through anything for him.


	7. Puppy

A _Star Trek_ Fiction

 _"The ultimate duo, the mighty Bones and Jim. With Bones' skills, and Jim's unpredictability, the two are unstoppable, for better or worse."_

Secretly a Child at Heart 

_5xs Jim was Careless & 5xs Jim Cared too Much_

 **Story 7: Puppy**

If there's one thing Bones knows for certain about his golden boy, it's that he tends to misplace his belongings. Jim has lost shirts, hats, coins, homework, shoes, and of course, common sense. So with having all the carelessness in the world, it doesn't surprise Bones when Jim comes home with another animal in his arms, but this time the animal doesn't slither, nor croak or shed scales, it barks quite loudly.

"Jim, what on god's name is that?" Bones growls, leaving his food on the counter to peer over at the blond.

Jim offers his genuine smile, trying to charm the Doctor up, "It's a puppy of course."

"You brought a dog? Jim what did I tell you about dogs?" Bones snaps, folding his arms and placing hand over his face.

"That you already have a dog…" Jim mutters, his head hanging in defeat.

Bones smirks, "That's right, and who is that dog?"

Jim rolls his eyes, "Me."

"Correct, and I don't need any other dogs in the house." Bones states and Jim fluffs up the black lab's hair.

"But Bones!" Jim exclaims, holding the bundle of joy up, "No buts Jim, put that thing back where it came from."

"I can't." The blond tells him.

"Why not?" Bones inquires, giving Jim and the adorable puppy in his arms a glare.

"Because I already named him." Jim replies, planting a kiss on the lab's head.

"Yeah and what's its name?" Bones questions, turning back to his food.

Jim smiles, "Leonard."

"Damn it Jim." Bones growls under his breath, "Take the dog back Jim."

"No." The cadet refuses, holding the puppy close to his chest.

"Okay, how will you care for him?" Bones asks, shoving a mouthful of bread into his mouth.

Jim shrugs, "He'll learn to hunt."

"Uh-huh, Jim, no we're not having a pet, it's against the regulations. Plus everything you bring in tends to die Jim; we don't have to bring up the tribble thing do we?" Bones says, raising an eye brow at the reckless man before him.

The blond hangs his head, "No…"

"Good, now get rid of that thing." Bones informs him but Jim gasps.

"Please Bones, lemme find little Leonard a home first." Jim pleads, fear gleaming in his ocean blue eyes.

Bones sighs, "Fine, you get a week to find a home but we're not calling him Leonard for god's sake."

Unfortunately for Bones, the name Leonard stuck. Jim cared for the puppy, feeding him scraps of meat and whatever vegetables he could scrounge up. The blond gave the puppy plenty of water and found sticks and old shoes for him to chew on. But on the other hand, he also let the puppy dig through the trash and eat Bones' homework, which the Doctor wasn't too pleased with.

It's the end of the week, the end of their agreement. Jim is sleeping on the couch with Leonard sprawled out beside him snoring quietly in his slumber. Bones walks into the room, dumping his bag beside the couch and gives a huff at the two. He knows Jim has to give away the dog sooner or later, but whether he likes to admit it or not, he has grown quite attached to the black lab, and even though his name is Leonard, he actually finds it funny how Jim named the puppy after him.

"Leonard? Come here boy." Bones calls out softly.

The puppy's head instantly perks up, stretching a yawn before scrambling to his paws and landing squarely at Bones' feet. The Doctor smiles and bends down to stroke the lab's black coat back. Leonard wags his tail excitedly and gives a squeaky bark which immediately awakes the sleeping blond.

"Bones…?" Jim groans, sitting upright and stretching his arms up.

"Here." Bones responds standing straight and brushing the puppy away, he doesn't need Jim to think he's actually getting attached to the dog.

"Oh." Jim mumbles, collapsing back down onto the couch, "You weren't at class," Bones grounds out, giving his lazy roommate a glare, Jim just shrugs, "I was trying to find little Leonard a home."

"Did you find one?" Bones questions and Jim runs a hand over his face, "Yeah, I'm dropping him off tomorrow."

The next day came around swiftly and Jim disappeared with little Leonard for the whole morning. Jim didn't return till two in the afternoon and when he did finally make it back to his dorm, he shuts himself up in his room. Bones gives a haggard sigh and brings himself inside Jim's room, finding the kid face down in his sheets.

"Jim?" Bones says plainly and the blond perks up.

"I'm gonna miss the little guy." Jim admits slowly and pushes his face back down.

Bones rolls his eyes, "He's better off now."

"True, but I always wanted a dog." Jim replies, gathering himself up in a sitting position so he can see Bones' expression.

"Well, maybe you can have one when you retire." Bones chuckles, sitting beside his best friend.

Jim smiles back, showing off his white teeth, "Yeah, when I retire."


	8. Arguments

A _Star Trek_ Fiction

 _"The ultimate duo, the mighty Bones and Jim. With Bones' skills, and Jim's unpredictability, the two are unstoppable, for better or worse."_

Secretly a Child at Heart 

_5xs Jim was Careless & 5xs Jim Cared too Much_

 **Story 8: Arguments**

Bones grinds his teeth, his thoughts collecting all the things he wants to say. Oh how he's going to tear him apart for this one! Jim isn't going to escape it this time, not with some childish smile, not with charm, or talking his way through, no this time Jim better keep his mouth shut and listen to what he has to say.

He makes his way up the stairs and bursts into his dorm room, finding Jim on the couch rubbing his sweaty hands together nervously. There's blood trickling down his forehead and his left eye is bruised and swollen.

"Unbelievable. So it's true." Bones growls furiously, giving the blond a glare.

Jim opens his mouth but only releases a rough cough, "Yeah the pity card isn't working on me today Jim, so don't even."

"But Bones-" Jim starts frantically but Bones isn't about to let Jim speak just yet.

"No Jim, listen to me. I was in the middle of class when I heard about your stupid fight! I had to run out of class and come find you and on the way here Admiral Pike contacted me and guess what he said Jim?" Bones snaps pointing an accusing finger at the shriveling blond, "What?" Jim asks shyly, "He said that if he wants to keep you in the academy he's gonna hafta pull some strings and call in huge favors, but he doesn't want to if you're just gonna get yourself into another one of your goddamn fights! They even have the whole fight on camera Jim! Goddamn it Jim why do you do this? Don't you ever think about anybody else besides yourself? What am I supposed to Jim? What am I supposed to do with you?"

Now Jim seems so small, he's curled in around himself, flinching away from Bones, "I'm sorry Bones I-"

"No Jim! You don't get to say sorry this time, I'm not accepting it. I have put up with this shit so many times. It's always the same thing and the same apology and I'm calling bullshit on your part. You can't keep doing this Jim you have to be taught a lesson for once. You always get away with everything assuming that I'm just gonna be here to fix it when you come back. But not this one Jim, no, definitely not this one. This one is on you, just like all the other countless goddamn stuff you've done through the past couple of years. I'm not putting up with this anymore Jim. We're done, we're through… Now pack your things and get ready to leave. I've requested your transfer. You leave tomorrow morning." Bones rants angrily at him and Jim's eyes shimmer with fear and regret.

But instead of objecting, the blond nods his head in understanding and gets to his feet and runs to his room, slamming the door behind himself. Jim then slumps down against the door, heaving sobs and desperately trying not to make too much noise. He buries his face into his knees and wraps his arms around himself.

Deep down he knows Bones is right; all he does is think about himself, never about how his actions can affect other people, especially Bones. But instead of going back to Bones to try to make things right, he remains there wallowing in his misery.

Bones stands there in slight shock. He lied, he hasn't requested Jim's transfer, it just slipped out. And now he's all alone, like he wanted, but he feels so empty, so useless. The Doctor sighs and comes closer to Jim's door, listening in. Jim's crying, he's crying terribly hard. He can hear the sharp intakes of breath between sobs, each sniffle and each tear, it breaks his heart.

He raises his fist to knock on the door but stops. He's the one that made his best friend cry and now he wants to comfort him? Bones brain twists in thought, should he open the door? Should he apologize? Yes he knows that he shouldn't have said those things and shouldn't have lied but didn't the kid deserve a beating for once? Didn't Bones finally earn something? Must he always be the one to pick up the pieces…but that's just it. Jim's the broken one, not him. Jim's the one in need of fixing not him. Bones isn't the one with a heroic father that died the day he was born, he isn't the one whose mother abandoned him, he isn't the one with an abusive step father, he isn't the one who is haunted with nightmares. No, Bones isn't broken, Jim is, and Jim needs to be fixed and Bones is a fixer, so he can fix that.

So abandoning Jim now, at his weakest, wounded by his one true friend, the only person he trusts in, because god only knows all the trust issues the kid has, would leave the kid devastated for the rest of his life. Bones can't do that, not to Jim, not to his best friend.

Braving himself, Bones knocks on the door. Instantly Jim quiets down, but makes no attempt to reply.

"Jim?" Bones calls out awkwardly; praying to god Jim will open up the damn door.

"I'm packing. Go away." Jim growls, wiping his nose hastily and gathering to his feet.

Bones sighs, "Jim, just listen to me."

"No. I've already done that. Now go away McCoy." Jim grounds out, picking up his belongings that are scattered about the room.

"No Jim. I'm apologizing." Bones replies, but he earns no response from the blond, "Look Jim, I'm sorry for saying those things to you. You don't deserve that, no one does. And I'm sorry for being an asshole, I guess hearing that you might get kicked out of the academy made me pissed, and I'm sorry for that too. I should have never lashed out like that Jim; no one should hear the things I said to you. It was completely wrong and I take full responsibility for my actions. Jim, I am, truly sorry." The Doctor sighs heavily, silent tears slipping, and he barely manages to keep his voice from shaking.

Jim pauses, tears still falling from his red eyes. He walks up to the door and opens it to face Bones, who is crying as well.

"Can you ever forgive me?" Bones whispers, covering his face with a hand as he shakes his head sorrowfully.

"I already have." Jim chokes out, his voice trembling.

Bones looks up, meeting Jim's sapphire blue eyes. They both smile and wrap each other into a hug. Jim immediately starts to cry again, his sobs hitting him like a train wreck, Bones can only stand there and hold him tighter like if he doesn't Jim will crumble to pieces.

"It's alright kid. I'm sorry." Bones murmurs, as Jim begins to hyperventilate against his chest.

The blond grips Bones' shirt tightly, "I thought I was going to lose you." He wheezes, feeling wobbly at the knees, but the Doctor puts a supportive arm around his back to keep him upright.

Bones hushes him, trying to get his frantic breathing under control, "I'll never leave Jim."

Jim tenses at his words, old memories swarming his mind like plague. His breathing comes to a halt and Bones starts to stroke his hair, coaxing him into calming down. When Jim finally does blow out a long sigh, the Doctor is greatly relieved and he slightly pulls apart to looks into the blond's puffy red eyes, blood still sticky on his face.

The brunette smiles and brings Jim onto the couch alongside him, keeping him close. Jim gives a lopsided grin, snuggling up along Bones' side and placing his head of blond hair on the Doctor's chest. Bones releases a comforted sigh, knowing that the kid may be messed up, but with him here he'll be able to fix the kid every time even if it's from himself.


	9. Reckless

A _Star Trek_ Fiction

 _"The ultimate duo, the mighty Bones and Jim. With Bones' skills, and Jim's unpredictability, the two are unstoppable, for better or worse."_

Secretly a Child at Heart 

_5xs Jim was Careless & 5xs Jim Cared too Much_

 **Story 9: Reckless**

Federation, Starfleet, regulations, Prime Directive, USS Enterprise, Captain, First Officer, Chief Medical Officer, one would think words like these would mean something. Normally they would, but not here, not now and especially not for a certain individual, that individual being, James T. Kirk.

Bones impatiently drums his fingers against the lunch table, watching Jim's crafty gaze switch between his fork full of food and the vulcan's abnormally large forehead. Spock's so tangled up into his 'fascinating' read, that he's hasn't acknowledged the fact that his mighty Captain is about to fling a glob of mashed potatoes at his face. And here he is, watching the scene play out, he quite honestly can't decide whether he should stop Jim or just let it happen. It is after all, part of nature; a Jim Kirk must be a Jim Kirk, no need to try to make him civil.

So with a relaxed sigh, which was held for far too long, he leans back expecting a nice show to unravel before his eyes. But unfortunately for him, his shifty Captain, is sneakier than he originally thought.

Jim is no moron when it comes to reading the Doctor's emotions, and frankly he can read it as plain as day, just like his vulcan friend reading his book about some stupid space voodoo, which he'll only become interested if it ever concerns him. And right now, he can tell the Doctor is far too calm, the man's watching the scene play out before his eyes. Now, this Captain isn't about to let Bones not get any of the action. No, if Bones isn't going to intervene and save his fellow officer from an offensively nasty blob of mashed potatoes to the face, then the old Doctor deserves a surprise as well.

Now this particular Captain has knack for getting ridiculed after these types of situations, but Jim being Jim, doesn't care too much.

With a devilish content gleaming in his blue eyes, Jim readies his second weapon casually, under the watch of Bones' dark brown eyes. Slowly, he rips his bread roll in half and soaks it into the mashed potatoes, making sure to fill the inside. Bones just gazes at him with hawk eyes, his expression suspicious.

Jim doesn't look at his judgy Doctor friend, no, he simply takes a little bite of the bread in his hand, trying to play it cool as he barely manages to swallow down the processed food. He then places his mashed potato bomb on his plate and carefully readies his fork, narrowing his intense glare at the oblivious Spock.

The blond smiles maliciously, "Hey Spock?"

"Yes Capt-" Spock says, peering up from his read, only to be met by an unpredictable blob of runny mashed potatoes on his face.

"Oh no you don't." Bones growls, making eye contact with Jim.

Jim chuckles and is about to throw his second weapon at Bones when the Doctor jumps from the table with uncontrollable fury. His blue eyes widen with fear and he drops his mashed potato bread roll and leaps from the table with Bones on his heels. Spock remains in his seat, slightly dazed by the passing events, he didn't see it coming.

"Damn it Jim!" The Doctor shouts, chasing after his rambunctious Captain.

Jim laughs heartily and continues his race to the Bridge, praying to god that Bones will give up the chase by then, if not, then he's surely a dead man.


	10. Bones

A _Star Trek_ Fiction

 _"The ultimate duo, the mighty Bones and Jim. With Bones' skills, and Jim's unpredictability, the two are unstoppable, for better or worse."_

Secretly a Child at Heart 

_5xs Jim was Careless & 5xs Jim Cared too Much_

 **Story 10: Bones**

Jim nervously paces his room, only hoping that Bones will call out to him. But the stressed Doctor makes no attempt, which only causes the blond more worry. He knows that he has to be there for Bones, for the good Doctor has seemed quite exasperated for the past couple of days. Jim isn't sure what's bugging Bones, but it must be bad to keep the brunette away from him. And the more he waits for Bones to tell him, the more anxiety it brings down on top of his shoulders.

The blond cares too much, and he knows it. He cares about every single person aboard the Enterprise; he's grown attached, maybe a little soft. But when it comes to Bones…well, Bones means the world to him, losing Bones would mean losing himself. So with being tired of waiting, the anxious Captain finally gives in and leaves the safety of his quarters, heading towards Bones' instead.

Cautiously Jim overrides the security lock and walks inside, only to have an empty beer bottle chucked at his head. The edgy Captain instantly ducks, the bottle shattering over his head.

"Damn it Bones! What the hell?" He growls angrily, closing the door behind himself.

Bones chuckles drunkenly, "Shit Jim, thought you'd never show."

"Well you were wrong. And you lousy bastard! Drinking all the beer without me." Jim grumbles and plops down beside his best friend, snatching the beverage from Bones' hand and popping it back.

"That's mine asshole." Bones snaps, taking his alcohol back after Jim gets a good taste.

"So what's it this time?" Jim questions, grabbing a half empty bottle of good whiskey, which is more than likely taken from Scotty's cabinet.

"It's Joanna's birthday. Damn ex-wife won't lemme see her." Bones slurs, drinking the rest of his bottle.

Jim sighs, "Again Bones? You gotta get over this already. Always the same shit over and over again." The blond exclaims and Bones immediately gives him a deathly glare.

"This shit is serious Jim." Bones says in a warning tone before popping back the alcoholic drink. Jim stares at him, contemplating his words before coming to another haggard sigh, "It can't keep happening every single year. I need my CMO."

"Just like how you have a breakdown every time it's your damn birthday? How about you get over that." Bones defends and Jim flinches slightly, but he doesn't let the mental hurt show on his concerned face.

"That's different."

Bones huffs, "Is it Jim?"

"Screw off." Jim clams up; ignoring Bones' angered grumbling until it comes coherent once more, "Just get over it he says. The hell with you asshole."

"You know I'm right Bones. Just get the hell over it. And why are you so damn bitchy with me right now? It's not even my fault."

"You're the damn reason why I can't see my sweet girl in the first place. You bastard!"The Doctor snarls, swinging the empty bottle across Jim's face.

Jim's vision goes black and he falls backwards, landing with a thud. But he fights to stay conscious and surely enough his eyesight comes back, allowing him to see the drunken Doctor bending over him.

"Jim-" Bones gasps but the blond gathers to his feet hastily and thrusts himself against a distant wall, mind still racing from the attack. Even in his drunken state, Bones' face turns into regret, seeing the true fear ravaging through Jim's rattled body

"I'm-I'm fine Bones, I'm okay, we're okay." Jim replies, avoiding the Doctor's reaching hand.

Bones sighs, hanging his head, "I'm sorry Jim, I didn't mean to…it's just…"

Jim just nods his head, but doesn't make an attempt to come closer, still slightly shaken. He hadn't expected Bones to lash out, but then again he did purposely agitate him, "It's alright, I understand."

"I'm sorry Jim…" Bones suddenly sobs out and gives in to the growing pressure.

The blond stands there, watching his friend cry before diving into action. Quickly he collapses by Bones' side and wraps him into a strong, firm, hug. The Doctor turns his body towards him and buries his face into Jim's golden uniform, arms slinging around the Captain's neck.

"I'm sorry Bones; I wish I could fix this." Jim mutters, placing a hand in his drunken friend's hair.

Bones manages a weak smile, "You already have."


End file.
